


IT SHOULD OF BEEN ME

by STAILS565



Series: YOU ARE UNDER MY SKIN [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Hanahaki Disease, Leonard Snart Has a Heart, Leonard Snart is dying inside, M/M, Marriage, Unsaid feelings, disease made a come back, lingering feeling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-07-30 05:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20092081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STAILS565/pseuds/STAILS565
Summary: It should of been Barry and Him up there...but he screwed up the relationship he had with the Speedster. and he is now having to face Barry married the Oliver Queen. While keeping his feelings from getting out in the open.





	IT SHOULD OF BEEN ME

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys, Wanted to try my hands on something sad with this two. the song used is Wedding Dress it is originally sung by Taeyang from Big Bang. one of the covers I will use is sung by Kevin Lien. Hope you enjoy!

The day appear okay in Leonard's standards, He wakes up, does his morning routine of simply showering, getting on a comfy set of clothes, brushing his teeth. Before cooking breakfast for himself. He sits at the sofa and eats the food,feeling glad whatever yesterday's feelings faded. He is watching a movie enjoying his food as he hears his phone ring. He rolls his eyes on having been interrupted from his alone time. _'Alone time is alone time. idiots'_, he thinks then he fights within himself to answer or not answer. He only answer to a few, Lisa he always do,same for Mick But he guess since she is with Cisco and Mick with Ray Palmer. He distant himself after the break up making sure he will not be hurt by those two and their significant others. his curiosity won and he place the plate on the table and go to grab his phone that was on the counter.

he sees it was Mick calling and he answers the call.  
"hello Mick," he greets cooly he then asks," didn't I say I wanted space?"  
his partner and best friend answers," I know Len. But...,"his friend became silent to think of words and that makes the thief frown slightly," You would not like this alot more,came from the other side.  
Snart hums in a unsure way, he does not like Oliver Queen at all and he very much wants to beat him or freeze him with his cold gun. Since he stole his Barry Allen. for now he did not know what will make it worse until his friend will say it or he will push it. sometimes he is impatient.  
"what will I not like even more besides not liking Oliver Queen's existence?" Leo snarls gripping the phone then calms down a little waiting for what Mick has to say to him.  
A conversation is occurring after that question, he could hear Ray at the background trying to reassure if it was the right thing to tell Len if not do not say it. Mick agree at that moment. Len got curious and want the knowledge now.  
"what is it Mick?" he asks again getting a bit irritated  
his friend sighs hearing the tone knowing of the impatience of his friend," Barry Allen and that bastard are getting married Len" those words made the heart of the cold thief break in pieces yet again.  
married.his Barry getting married..to someone that is not him..  
Len tried to breath and compose himself," when..will..when..will the wedding date be?" his question came out force and broken  
" a week or two from today. they announced it at special dinner," the other male informs him sadly  
Snart stays silent before he thanked him and hang up letting his phone fall to the counter. he takes a shaky breath and feels tears start to appear at the corner of his eyes and fall to the counter top. He will finally lose him to another. he understands he lost him by his screw up on a break of a promise they both did. He wanted him back, Barry let him work on it. Even when he began dating Oliver. Now will be official the loss, wonder how he will hold it more when he goes up against him in heists. It was hard before this news, now will be even harder. And by the call of Mick letting him know of the date, he guessed right Barry will invited him to his wedding;despite being exes. he miraculously did not throw stuff yet at this new information,current emotion is getting to be hollow yet again.

he begins slowly to go to the sofa and sat looking dead at nowhere in particular. Then he slowly move and has his head on his hands,elbows on his knees. he feels a sob going up his throat and he did not do nothing to keep it in,his body start to shake too.

********  
Mick looks at the phone after Len hangs up. he feels more worry for the guy and sometimes he wants to make the kid see how Len is currently self-punishing himself. But his best friend did not wanted to start any fights especially now. he feels Ray hugging him from behind by wrapping his arms around his shoulders and places his head on the free shoulder.

"hope he does not do the worse," Ray mutters slightly letting his lover to hear it.

the older male answers," I hope so too Doll". he breaths in and out 

"Yeah," Ray agrees he lets go of his Soulmate and kisses his cheek. Mick groans at that making the younger male chuckle. He lays down on the bed covering himself.

Mick stayed awake a bit more.   
'_You can do this Len. I know you can,_' he thought he then places his phone on the nightstand and lays besides his Doll and hug him from behind.

****

The next day, Len wakes up feeling worse than yesterday. he wants to be in bed dwelling in this feeling and not go out at all. But he knew somebody will come and drag him out of the bed. he uses his remaining strength to get out of bed. 

' _should off go in more, should not had kept my feelings wrapped from him_', he thinks painfully as he slowly does his routine. he turns on the TV's Youtube App to just have something to make sure he is not alone. There was a playlist he did back then. he listen to what the TV is saying as he simply stay silent. he looks at a picture he still has of Barry and Him: it was in the STAR Labs after a job well done. Mick took the pic and sent it to him. 

he then look down remembering the good times they had. it was fun,them two fighting metas,being intimate...having vacations with him.his speedster had moved on...he never thought he fall this hard for someone as he did with Barry Allen. He was afraid to tell his feelings entirely in case if they will fall but that became their downfall. It broke, he lost his love to the Green Arrow..while he will still wait for his time again. Or so he thinks. 

****

Ray, Lisa and Caitlin are with Barry helping him with their Wedding preparations. During the time, Lisa became worried for his brother. she went out after she excuse herself. Ray watch her leave he did not want to bother her yet. Caitlin got his attention and show him a theme that Barry told her. 

" oo that is a nice one," he compliments when he sees the picture of the Red and Green theme,"seems appropriate". 

Barry slightly blush and smiles," thanks Ray". 

"no problem," The other male replies with a smile 

Outside of the West household, Lisa calls Len. 

' _pick up,pick up Lenny_,' She thinks tapping her foot she then sighs when she hears the dial tone,' _ugh Lenny_', comes in her mind upon hearing it

******** 

Len still is looking at nowhere in particular as he hears the phone ring. 

'_great here it goes again_,' He thinks without seeing the phone he could not help to hoped that it would of been Barry. But he knew he will not call since he is busy with the Wedding planning.

he lays down on the sofa trying to think on what to do. ignoring the pain that is on his chest again. flowers going up his throat,that familiar itching sensation he hoped he forgotten. He closes his eyes as he cough once and then again making himself sit up and double over covering his mouth. The throat burn with the thorns of the vines scratching the walls of the esophagus. he feels petals on his hand stained with blood.'_not again...._' he thinks painfully looking at his hand holding the bloody petals. the hanahaki disease starting again. he hears the phone ring again from the counter top, where he left it last night. 

Len groans as he stands up from the sofa and goes to get it he throws away the petals to his trash can as he answers the phone. "h..hello?" he could not help that his voice sound hoarse to the person on the other side. 

"Hello, Lenny.."It was Barry which made the thief clear his throat to make sure he would not cough anymore as best he can during this call. 

Len says,more clearly," hey, Scarlet how is your Wedding Planning going?" hiding the fact that he will die sooner or later since the disease came back. he smiles despite Barry not seeing how fake it is. 

"It is going well Len," the hero replies," We are about done today. I saw Lisa trying to call you, I thought that maybe I should give it a try". his tone sounds worried," are you doing okay Lenny?" Len looks down at that staying silent for a moment

he then answers,"I'm okay Barry. it is nothing wrong. really". he tries to reassure the other male at the other side. it sounds empty for both of them and he did not know Barry look at Lisa or Ray on his side of the phone line. 

"Are you sure?" Barry asks," you sounded sick when you answered the phone". he sounds more concerned for him and that made Len's heart flutter for a moment. 

the injure man wanted to tell him right then and there his feelings. How he is dying inside without his Scarlet speedster's love,how he needs him. But he knows that he can not do that. Leonard Snart does not beg..."I'm sure Scarlet. I'm fine. hope we can meet each other some time and hang out like we used to", came the gentle reply to Barry before he decides to hang up on the man. '_I hope we can_', He then thinks painfully to himself 

***** 

Barry hears the other side hang up and he blinks getting the phone off his ear, then looking at both Raymond and Lisa. Both of them look as worried as Barry is while he was talking to the male. Lisa has a suspicious hunch what it could be,but she did not verbally say it just yet. 

"we can find out what it is Barry do not worry. we can keep you updated," Lisa tells him with that charm of hers making Barry go in between convinced and not," I..we will make sure he is okay," she tried again including Ray and Mick in this predicament. 

the young hero responds convinced," fine, hope everything is okay. be careful guys". 

"we will Barry," Ray tells him and both he and Lisa watches Barry leave to the inside of the house 

Lisa then says,"Lets go Palmer". leaving the doorstep of the West Household 

"right behind you," Mick's Nerd says following Lisa 

****** 

Len was coughing more flowers upon hearing the door open and a voice that he knows that is his sister. knowing her and how she gets when he is this heartbroken and dwelling in almost self pity. he is not surprise, Ray Palmer a bit considering he is Barry's friend. But having a big heart too and caring for his boyfriend's best friend because of it. He should not blame him either. he feels dizzy,this disease returning became terminal right off the bat. Lisa goes to his side to steady him and help him to his bed, while Ray clean both the blood that stain the floor and a bit on the sofa and the flowers with petals and the thorns away. Len becomes unconscious as Lisa lay him on his bed. 

****** 

The man weakly opens his eyes as he hears the two voices again. he feels some of the blood still coated his bottom lip and chin and stain his t-shirt. he slowly moves out of bed to go to the source of the noise and sees Ray and Lisa discussing what to do. 

it is about Barry again. of course, the source of this pain. their love was perfect,even by Hero and Villain standards, it was perfect. It was like a dream come true for them.he was planning to propose when they broke up. How he wanted to be the one Barry will marry, but plans changed. Lisa stops and looks at Len with wide eyes. Ray followed the look to his boyfriend's friend that became his friend. 

"hey Lis...Ray.." he managed to say to Lisa and Raymond. For them two Len still seem to be out of breath from the disease hitting him when she and Ray entered. Len walks to use the sofa as support and say," it is fine..I do not mind to die, Barry deserves to be happy". 

The woman responds," Happy? brother I can not view this as happy knowing your dying inside. yeah your love was such a bliss. But still Barry got to know that you need him and he needs you". 

" Lis..I know he blessed me with the best that he was..but my time had come to an end. Oliver now wants to be blessed the same way I did," he try to say without breaking while he gently lays a hand over his chest. 

Ray wants to comfort the Snart siblings during this issue. But he did not know what words to say. 

" Even when my heart bled and is still bleeding for Barry. And the wonder if Oliver will do the same. My try to get him is over. so please do not try to convince Barry to come back to me. This 'game' of love is not in my favor," he continues then cuts himself off Even the wondering if he will ever come back home as the clock ticks crosses his mind. 

Lisa responds," fine Lenny, I will not. But remember no promises" that made the Older Snart sibling chuckle weakly like old times 

*******

How some days he can not help but wish that Barry picked him. How he will always be his man. His Scarlet. But it will never happen. The days to the Wedding is getting close and the disease getting more harsher to him. If he gets one last word, then it will be fine. He will die in peace.   
******  
Two days before, he managed to hang out with Barry.   
It was fun, for a part that is. Len felt awkward for a moment and he knew Barry felt it too. He then found a way to take that off. Len then walked Barry home to the West household. He wanted to hug him as a good bye for now.

"Uh..Congrats on the Wedding Scarlet", he manages to get out

Barry blushes a bit," tha..thanks Len. Uh" he then scratches behind his head slightly," will...will you come to the Wedding?"

Len shut up a bit formulating thoughts. "Ye..yes I will".

Barry smiles and hugs Len thanking him. He then goes inside waving good bye and Len does too. Len then turns around to walk away from the house. When he was not in the house line of sight. He felt pain inside of his body again.  
**  
The day came, he woke up more weakly than before. He feels his joints not moving as he goes to get dress in his suit. He then starts to walk the dreaded walk to the church. It is a fancy church, fit both of Oliver and Barry's taste. People were already there. He meets Ray and Mick, both dressed in their respective ensembles of a priest and a best man. Weird, but it would be alright.

"Hey Boss," Mick greets to his friend. Len waves weak. Both of them look concern," you know you should of not come right?"

Len gives a fake smile," I know. But I wanted to come as a final let go." They could see his eyes glassy as tears start to threaten to roll down his cheeks. They both understood.

Mick first gives him a hug followed by his boyfriend. Len gives them back.

"Ray," He says looking at the man dressed in Priest attire

Ray responds," yeah Len?"

"I'm glad My best friend Mick found his soulmate in you. You two look great together",Len compliments them," wish you both the best in your future".

Ray let himself cry as he wipes a tear that is falling down. "Tha...thank you Len I appreciate your thoughts on this relationship. I'll look after your friend, i will never leave Mick".

"Thank you," the weak thief answers with a weak smile. Finally saying some last words about it. Mick could not bring himself to,so he lets his eyes do the talking when his friend and he look each other one last time. Len then walks away from the pair.

He then finds his sister and Cisco. He knows that Cisco will take care of his sister well. He is very loyal to his partner. Len comes up to them making Cisco startled and Lisa look and hug him.

"Hey Lenny you managed to come that is surprising," she says worried and happy

Len chuckles softly," I know. I'm sorry, just wanted to say something is all".

"What about. If it is 'The Talk' then I understand. I seen you and her angry. I won't betray your trusts", Cisco tells him scared with reassurance mix in the tone

Len could not help but laugh a bit before answering," Cisco. It is not that. Well kind off. Just..." The pair looks at him in concern and curiosity," Cisco, I want to also thank you that you and my sister got together romantically. I'm happy you two are together. good luck your both futures".

Cisco's mouth dropped open and Lisa let tears fall at the deepness. Len got hugged by his sis again and having her pulled her bf to a hug too. Four people down, just one to go. he hoped he can get there in time.   
*******   
The Wedding has started, everybody was sitting with their significant others or family's. Leonard was sitting by the piano. He begged for Barry to not say the I do as Ray did the vows after they both did their written ones. Oliver's voice came to him then Barry's. That was the final dagger pierced in his very soul that completely tore him into pieces. All the guests cheer at them for tying the knot. They then turn around and Barry urges Len to start playing with a smile. He ignore the feeling of his chest and did as he was told. He starts to play the piano for the newly wedded couple. It was beautiful,but also very melancholy at the hidden aspect of the playing. Oliver caught it as he frowns looking at Len, and when Len changed the tune of the music. It made Oliver calm and he with his husband walk down the aisle.   
*****   
The cheer is still there as it now outside. Perfect for being alone because he walked back inside the church. He begins coughing again and uses the pillar that was near the entrance. he could not help and fall and weakly move to a sitting position against the Pillar after he cough a few more flowers.

'_It is over now_', he thinks with a sad smile,' he finally be happy' he closes his eyes accepting his fate.

"Len?" A very familiar voice came after moments making Len open his eyes and look at Barry.

He asks," Scarlet? Why are you here?" Barry kneels besides the male.

"I was worry again. You did not come." Was the reply of Barry

Len gives that well known smirk of his," You don't have to worry about me Scarlet. Go.go have the wonderful life with your Green Arrow." Barry's eyes did not show that he is convinced.

"Len..." The hero says gently moving his hand to his ex's," I still care about you despite being marry to Oliver now. You gave me something special too."

Len chuckles weakly but groans because of the pain of his chest. " I..I give you some..something special? I mostly hurt you Scarlet".

" Yeah you do. But Relationships are not always fun. They have ups and downs. I cherish ours," The hero gently says as he gently touches Len's cheek.

Len could not help to feel love for a moment. He knew it was quick, he will take this small time as an advantage.whoever told him to check..in his mind he thanked them.

Len weakly says," I..I will always love you Barry."

"I love you too Len", Barry responds with a gentle smile with some tears rolling down his cheeks 

The young hero then leans in to close the gap between Len and him. He kisses the thief softly, but the kiss still holds love. The kiss ended quick as it began. Barry knew Oliver will look for him, so he stands up still looking at Len. He then runs out of the Church leaving Len alone.

'_You will always be under my skin...my dear Scarlet_' was Len's last thought as he closes his eyes and never opening them again 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Feedback is always welcome. If You also have more ideas welcome to say too. I'm planning it on making it as a series of One-Shots on different pairings ^~^ ;-; Now I will go cry now for Len. I'm sorry! Lenny! ;-;  



End file.
